Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
What's a delinquent mittens' favorite sport? Badminton
