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Gift

Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

Merry eve of Christmas

A lit green candle in a glass jar sits on a wooden surface. The text at the top of the image says "Men are so hard to shop for". The label on the candle reads "Cigarettes and Gasoline Candle" and includes simple line-art icons of a smoking cigarette and a jerrycan of gasoline.

Fortnite

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A screenshot of the Fortnite in-game shop displaying three items for purchase. The main heading is 'Jerkmate Ranked'. The first item is a 'Jerkmate Ranked' bundle, marked as 1,200 V-bucks off, and originally priced at 2,400-3,600 V-bucks. It features a half-red, half-blue robot character (Jerkbot) and associated items. The 'Jerkbot' character is also available separately for 1,600 V-bucks. The second item is 'Lube Looter', a pickaxe shaped like two white lotion bottles, priced at 800 V-bucks. The third item is 'Leaked CIA Files', depicted as a brown folder, priced at 1,200 V-bucks. Overlaid text at the bottom reads: 'Fortnite really just be collaborating with anyone.'

Movie

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A close-up photo of actor Don Cheadle, wearing glasses and a dark shirt, looking straight ahead with a serious, almost judgmental expression. Overlayed text reads: "how film majors will look at you when you tell them your favorite movie is fast and furious instead of a 1932 french film about the life of a blade of grass that can only be found in a saudi arabian pawn shop and the british vaults".

Car

tabs1528 · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search with the text "white people stole my car" in the search bar. Below the search bar, Google suggests, "Did you mean: black people stole my car."

Coupon

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A muscular man lifts his shirt to reveal a handgun in his waistband. Text: POV: me at the coffee shop presenting my 100% off coupon to the barista.

Place

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A building with a "CP Shop" sign. The text overlayed reads: "No way it's this easy. 😂🙏"

Fade

Glassiiewxter · 1 year ago

Low taper fade

A black and white image of a man, presumably Ninja, with text that reads, "Settle down, what is wrong? This dude shop single. The streets Justin wants his fade checked."

Chat

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Discord chat between two users. The first user, with the name Doll, admits to being hypersexual and horny. The second user initially responds with understanding, but then states that they were thinking of the first user while they were having these feelings. The first user responds with "That's bad."

Avatar

Rookpauze · 1 year ago

Bro what goin on

Three avatars are in a bathroom setting, two in a tub and one standing by, while menus like 'Catalog', 'Shop', 'Options', 'Passes', 'Donate', and 'Sit' are visible on the left side. The avatars are named Glassiewxter, Itzz_Hannah, and PrincessePepe.

Cause

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search with the query "cause of the great london fire". The first result shown is "Great Fire of London / Cause" and below it is the answer "Fire".

Story

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Budget

Nintendo Fan · 1 year ago

A person is sitting on a white inflatable pool toy in a puddle in front of a shop, with the text: "When you need a holiday but your budget is quite limited."

Kamala Harris

Willy b · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a social media post on a dark background. The top half shows a news broadcast split-screen featuring Tucker Carlson on the left and David Daleiden, identified as a pro-life activist, on the right. The text on the news image mentions "Kamala wanted to obstruct investigation into the sale of baby body parts." The post text below reads: "When two undercover investigators secretly taped Planned Parenthood admitting selling baby parts (a felony), Calif Attorney General prosecuted the undercover investigators, NOT Planned Parenthood. That Attorney General was Kamala Harris."

Underwear

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Wtf is this shit and why do I kinda want it

A picture shows a black cat heating pad placed inside a pair of black underwear. There is a control and the USB cord. Additional pairs of underwear are stacked. The text on the image says "Shop now", "Crimmy Period Underwear Panties for Teens Women, 3 Leak ...", "Amazon", and "Sponsored".

Friend

Swf · 1 year ago

💀

A screenshot of a Google search for "who was hitler's best friend". The search result displays "Mort" as a movie character, accompanied by images of the animated character Mort.

Search result

R3Y · 2 years ago

I FAMOUS NOW GUYS

A screenshot of a Google search result for the term "TheUsedFleshlightConnoisseur." The search results include links to worstjokesever.com and an Instagram post by rufuswainwright.

Car

kate✨ · 2 years ago

In a scene from Breaking Bad, Walter White is in his lab working with test tubes. The text above him refers to car manufacturers.

Costume

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

A person wearing a large, round Dunkin' Donut mascot costume stands on a street corner. The costume features a large hole in the center. In the background, a Dunkin' Donuts sign is visible, reading 'DN KN SEE Y... SOON'. A black text overlay on the image reads 'His poor swollen dunussy'.

Nuclear bomb

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A search bar says "nuclear bomb", with the tab "SHOPPING" highlighted. Under the search, there is an image of Buzz Lightyear with a concerned face.

Art

Anonymous · 2 years ago

SNED HELP?!?!?!?

A Pinterest feed showing four different images. The first image on top left features hands forming a heart. The image next to it shows a drawing of a person with a hoodie, next to it the drawing is the text "40000000 000000054 get so cute". The bottom left image shows a stick-figure drawing titled "How to talk to short people" with instructions on how to have a better communication with short people. The last image on the bottom right shows an advertisement for "Wildmant Modal Big Briefs".

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