Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Shes Memes

Heroin Monkey

An image depicts three children sitting around a table that's covered with various pills. The text above them reads: "grandma is dead so lets eat all of her pills". One of the children also has a text bubble saying: "She Won't Be Needing Those Anymore!"

Heroin Monkey

The 6 year old at Walmart
directing his morbidly obese
mother while she parks her
mobility scooter

♡𝓅𝒶𝓁

We all know what rapper she’s talking about…

A screenshot of a YouTube comment. The user, @devonodevon, writes: I'm a retired 69 year old army vet white grandmother who hates rap and I can't stop listening!! I keep playing this to my grand kids and now they're not speaking to me because THEY CAN'T HANDLE TRUTH and COMMON SENSE. When he appeared as the Jamaican HOOBOY I WOKE UP THE WHOLE STREET LAUGHING!!! GODBLESS AMERICA. There are also like and dislike buttons and a comment button.

shizushizu

My princess choice

The image is a four-panel meme. In the top left panel, a person is shown with their hand up, rejecting something with text saying: "oh hell no, ugly, she's a butt". In the top right panel, Princess Peach is shown. In the bottom left panel, the same person is shown with a positive expression and a small image of Mirabel saying: "ahh that's more like it, beautiful. She's Mirabel". In the bottom right panel, Princess Daisy is shown.

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Anonymous

A man is looking to the right in a close up shot. Text above reads: "When you getting tortured by the Cartel but the leader thick ahh Colombian daughter walks in so I gotta withstand the pain so she doesn't get the ick."

♡𝓅𝒶𝓁

The image is a two-panel comic showing examples of appropriate and inappropriate workplace behavior. In the top panel, a man is labeled "APPROPRIATE" and says, "She got a big booty so I call her Big Booty (Booty)." A woman at her desk responds, "AWWW, YOU'RE SWEET." In the bottom panel, a man is labeled "INAPPROPRIATE" and says, "Grippy, huh. Grippy, I call her that 'cause it's grippy." The same woman is now on the phone, saying, "HELLO, HUMAN RESOURCES?!" The faces of the men are replaced with pictures of the rappers Gunna and J. Cole respectively.

not_pimi_gal2009

{ before Queen Elizabeth ii died :/ she was cracked at fortnite }

The image shows a split-screen with three panels. The left panel shows a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II with a blue hat. The center panel shows a version of Queen Elizabeth II holding a gun and appearing to be in the game Fortnite with a bright sun and green hills. The right panel shows a weapon from the video game Fortnite.

not_pimi_gal2009

when Queen Elizabeth does her evil face when she hates someone : be like :'/

The image shows a two-panel comparison. On the left, Queen Elizabeth has a visible frown. On the right, a picture of Kate Middleton with a neutral expression. There is no text on the image.

Wade

Don’t think, just do, live in the now, don’t care about the future, yeeeeee

The image shows a cartoon character with a shocked expression sitting in a blue chair with his finger pointed. The text above the character reads: "When she asks if you brought protection:". Below the cartoon, the text states: "How dare you make me consider the long term!"

Anonymous

SNED HELP?!?!?!?

A Pinterest feed showing four different images. The first image on top left features hands forming a heart. The image next to it shows a drawing of a person with a hoodie, next to it the drawing is the text "40000000 000000054 get so cute". The bottom left image shows a stick-figure drawing titled "How to talk to short people" with instructions on how to have a better communication with short people. The last image on the bottom right shows an advertisement for "Wildmant Modal Big Briefs".

Heroin Monkey

DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF.
Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and
the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH
A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom
turned around, I tell she looked batshit crazy. She
was
you
holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.
I'M GONNA
BREAK YOUR
FUCKING
LEGS GREG
WHAT THE
HELL?!
She then threatened us for answers for who told Dad,
and when I thought things couldn't get any i
BUBBY
DID IT!
worse...
HE had to fuck shit up.
10

Hgfdfrgt

When she sends feet

A still from the cartoon "The Amazing World of Gumball" with Richard Watterson at his computer, sporting a headset, as if in a gaming session. The text "ACARI" is above the screen. There are various plush toy-like figures in the background.

BellaTrix

I’m amazing!!!

A meme in the form of a comic strip showing different scenes from the movie Harry Potter, with Bellatrix speaking with a person in an interview and about how Sirius has matured. At the bottom is a line that says "trummy.co".

Cahyani Ambara

My friend when she gets confused :

A simple, hand-drawn image of a character with a brown mushroom-like haircut, a short line for a mouth, a bright pink dress, and orange pants. The face shows confusion.

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️

Me always be like on a weekend :

The image shows two different images of Spongebob. The image to the left shows Spongebob wearing glasses and reading a book. The right image shows Spongebob in a weird form, with two antenna-like things on top of his head and with a sassy attitude. The text on top reads: 'What Lightbulb THINKS she acts like: What she actually acts like:'

Heroin Monkey

A man, Jeffrey Epstein, smiles at the viewer. In the background are two women. The text overlay says: "I asked Hillary to be my valentines, but she left me hanging."

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with the text "I squeeze my girl when she on her period cause she my Lil ketchup packet" above an image of two men. The bottom image has the text "My FBI agents" over it.

TechPriestGotDrip

my girlfriend (she's shy)

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