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A man in a dark suit stands with his back to the viewer, observing a giant, segmented screen displaying a huge, close-up image of another man's face, who looks contemplative or concerned. The scene is reminiscent of high-level surveillance. The text overlay reads: "How it feels to secretly put a camera in bro's room so you lowk only text him when he's gooning."

Shitpost master-general

Soles

A four-panel comic strip. In the first three panels, a woman and a man are hanging Christmas stockings over a fireplace. The woman questions the tradition, saying, "Stockings are kind of a weird concept. Like, who came up with it? Who thought pulling things out of socks would be so exciting?" In the fourth panel, Santa Claus is sitting at a desk, looking intently at a laptop screen which displays a grid of photos/video feeds showing various close-ups of bare feet. Santa says, "Hell yeah."

A meme split into two panels. The top panel shows a real firearm, modified to resemble a blue and orange Nerf toy gun, resting on a wooden surface next to a ruler. Below this is a YouTube video thumbnail with the title "Real Gun Disguised as Nerf Toy" from "News4JAX". The bottom panel shows a man with curly hair and a dark jacket, known as Super Hans from Peep Show, walking on a city street and looking back towards the camera. Text overlayed on this panel reads: "The person who disguised a real gun as a nerf gun: The secret ingredient is crime."

A man wearing glasses and a plaid shirt stands next to a red barbecue grill, holding a can. He is wearing a blue apron that says 'DON'T ASK ME FOR THE SECRET FAMILY RECIPE'. To his right, a golden retriever dog sits on the floor, also wearing a blue apron. The dog's apron says 'I SAW THE FACE OF GOD AND IT WAS WEEPING'.

A screenshot from Reddit's AskReddit shows a user asking what the secret to a happy marriage is. A user named "GapingAssTroll" replied that a happy marriage is not a 50/50 effort but a 60/40 effort with both people trying to be the 60. Another user, "saladshoooter", thanked GapingAssTroll for the insight.

A photo shows a doll that resembles an unborn baby next to text that reads: "If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they're bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass."

A still from a cartoon movie shows a character with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth. The text above the image reads: "When my sibling tells me something about their life and I have to act surprised because my mom had already told me."

An anonymous 4chan user posts a hypothetical question. The image includes a picture of Ben Shapiro. The text reads: "Let's just say, hypothetically speaking, that I have a secret Instagram where I crossdress and sissify myself. How would this contradict my Judeo-Christian Conservative values? Even if a few businessmen fucked my bussy, how would this diminish my political views?"

The image contains three sections. The top two show separate cows on roofs, a black cow and a brown and white cow. The bottom section depicts a cow dressed as a soldier, wearing a helmet, sunglasses, and holding a gun, in front of two other cow soldiers.

A page from a parody 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book featuring handwritten text and a cartoon illustration of Greg Heffley and his mother in a car. The text describes Greg witnessing his mother's infidelity and his resulting feelings of disgust and distrust, culminating in a tense conversation where she asks him to keep the secret.

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

The image shows Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong sitting side by side in a car. Above them, the text reads, "Jacqueline Kennedy and the Secret Service driving to the nearest car wash."

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

A kitchen with a counter top, a stove, cooking pots, cups, and a knife rack with many knives. The text on the image reads: "The secret to a clean kitchen is simple. Don't cook, ever."

A screenshot of a social media post on a dark background. The top half shows a news broadcast split-screen featuring Tucker Carlson on the left and David Daleiden, identified as a pro-life activist, on the right. The text on the news image mentions "Kamala wanted to obstruct investigation into the sale of baby body parts." The post text below reads: "When two undercover investigators secretly taped Planned Parenthood admitting selling baby parts (a felony), Calif Attorney General prosecuted the undercover investigators, NOT Planned Parenthood. That Attorney General was Kamala Harris."

big [fire] balls

The image is a two-panel meme. The top panel shows a platypus with text that says, "Quick Animal Facts: Most platypuses don't have to secretly fight a criminal mastermind who keeps on making unstoppable, long named gadgets." The bottom panel shows a man with text saying, "What do you mean, 'most?'"

A video still shows a young man and a young woman, with the text "In 2024 Now We're..." above them and the numbers 22 and 15 below. The right part shows the YouTube comment section with a comment saying "She was better at 12", followed by comments referencing Drake.

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