5+ Best Rub Memes - Worst Jokes Ever

Etiquette

A screenshot from a social media platform shows a man with light hair and a serious expression, looking over a white building with many windows, presumably in London. Below the video, a comments section is visible. It shows the location 'London' with '67.1K people added to Favorites' and '6,140 comments'. A user named Kollado asks, 'what's the etiquette of rubbing one out under the table?' The creator, William Hanson, responds, 'You ask this on almost every video. May I suggest you seek professional help??'

Restraint

A screenshot of a dark mode text post displays an explicit fanfiction excerpt. A picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad, wearing his Heisenberg hat and glasses, with a beard, is superimposed over the text. Red circles highlight Walter White's face, the words 'Say my name,' and 'name.' The text describes a highly suggestive scene where a character is 'trembling from restraint' and eventually pleads, 'Please. I need you. Say my name.' The final sentence reads: 'He's falling apart. He's breaking. You're making him burn, and he loves every second of it.'

Lamp

An image of Aladdin holding a magic lamp with a blue genie beside him. The text says, "Aladdin taught me that good things happen to those who rub one out."

Father

A meme featuring a close-up image of a monkey with its eyes closed, appearing to be asleep or pretending to sleep. A lollipop or similar object is near its mouth, and it is behind a wire fence. The text above the image reads, "my father rubbing his dick on my face thinking that I'm asleep". Below the image, the text reads, "[I'm pretending]".

Stage

A cartoon drawing split into two panels. The left panel shows a grey cat lying on its back with its paws in the air, while a hand pets its belly. The right panel shows the same cat, now curled up in a ball, angrily biting the same hand, with claws out and ears back. Above the two panels reads "2 STAGES OF BELLY RUBS". At the bottom of the right panel is the text "LINSI.STOY.COM".

Kitty

Two Roblox avatars are standing on a colorful platform. A text bubble above them reads: "lol have you ever rubbed your kitty in circles?"

Heaven

A meme showing three men, likely religious figures, seated at a panel. The top text states, "These guys say women YouTubers can't go to heaven because men have masturbated over them." Below the image, a screenshot of a social media comment reads, "Rubbed one out for them, now no one goes to heaven."

Semen

A screenshot of two 4chan posts. The top post features a greentext story and a picture of the anime character Cirno. The text claims the author used their own semen as a skincare product overnight and it cured their acne. The bottom post features a picture of Konata Izumi and a reply stating the user is going to try it, hoping it isn't a prank.

Jokes

Horse

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

Little Johnny: What are you doing?

Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

Rapist

How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.

Woman

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have balls.