Worst Jokes Ever

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Press Memes

DAP ME UP

ima press it

A meme featuring a hand about to press a red button. The text reads: "WILL YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Michael Jackson comes back to life but The Weekend dies I WILL NOT"

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Reddit post that reads: "I agree unironically. If a 'man' is so light I can overhead press him for a set, then me filling his asshole with my seed isn't actually gay. I'm just enforcing the natural order by asserting my dominance over him. I've fucked like 6 or 7 guys since highschool and I don't consider myself gay at all."

Heroin Monkey

A text document screenshot with a paragraph about knowing fundamental rights and making informed voting decisions. Highlighted in yellow is "Even with the margin of error being 9 percent average, which is still significant." A suggestion box from Grammarly is on the right saying "One obvious solution to this problem is Iwyluwxzdlvq more civics courses in schools and wxtloj it a graduation requirement for high school students."

Thoughtless

A text post that says: "We live in an age where you can press a button and a deep web hitman shows up at your door and kills you. Technology is incredible." Followed by two comments: "what button", and "what fucking button".

DAP ME UP

A blue screen displays the text: "You have pressed the button". It shows two numbers: 40233 (46%) in green and 47944 (54%) in red. The text says that 40233 people have pressed the button while 47944 have not. Below this text, there are three lines: "Stop world hunger", "but", and "Cancer will never be cured".

Heroin Monkey

A black handgun is shown with a red line and an arrow pointing to the trigger. Below the gun, the text reads: "Press to skip dialogue."

Heroin Monkey

A red bell pepper with a human face is shown. The text reads: "My balls after I shove them inside a industrial grade steam powered metal press."

Geiger

The image shows Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson with a slightly distorted neck and very large muscles. Above him is written: "WHEN YOU FORGET THAT CAPS LOCK IS ON AND YOU PRESS SHIFT TO CAPITALIZE A LETTER."

Heroin Monkey

A man with dark hair wearing a red shirt with a human evolution print, brown pants and dress shoes poses holding a red laptop in his left arm, with his right arm raised and smiling mischievously. The text above the image reads "The mad scientist in his secret laboratory getting ready to press the button that makes a random person in the world shout 'where there's rain, there's bound to be mud!' And then proceed to projectile shit all over the place".

Thoughtless

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

Heroin Monkey

The top part of the image is a screenshot of a website WillYouPressTheButton.com. It shows a red button with a hand pointing at it. There are two texts. One states, "You can use the force". The other says, "Every time you enter a room, Darth Vader's Theme plays all the way through." Below, there is a picture of Darth Vader sitting in a chair, shrugging. There is the text "i ain't even mad" below the image.

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel cartoon. The first panel shows a car driving on a bridge with a "LOAD LIMIT 10 TONS" sign. In the second panel, the father and child are in a car, the child asks "HOW DO THEY KNOW THE LOAD LIMIT ON BRIDGES, DAD?" The third panel shows the father thinking about a matrix equation and the structural load analysis of a bridge. In the fourth panel, the father, now looking dumbfounded, says: "OH. I SHOULD'VE GUESSED."

GG Miller

A six-panel image showing various reactions to online class situations. The top left panel shows a muscular person struggling, labeled "The teacher trying to unmute us". The top right shows a villainous face, labeled "Me telling her to press alt + F4". The middle left shows a fish with its mouth open, labeled "The kid with the loud mic". The middle center shows a dog, labeled "Her dog in the background". The middle right shows a puppy, labeled "The kid trying to learn". The bottom left panel shows a man at a laptop, labeled "My FBI agent". The bottom right shows a cat, labeled "The kid with slow internet".

Galokin

The image shows a meme with three panels. In the first, the text says "I delete my comment I worked the last 5 minutes on" next to a meme man with his hands on his head and the text "Panik". In the second, the text says "I saved it with Control+C" next to the meme man with calm face and the text "Kalm". In the third panel, the text says "I press on Control+C instead of Control+V in the marked area" next to the meme man with his hands on his head and the text "Panik".

DAP ME UP

Fr all you gotta do is get one enemy

A person with wide eyes and mouth open looking frightened. The text says: "pov: someone ip grabbed you and starts sending hitmen after you."

Advice

..

The image contains the text: DON'T BITE YOUR LIP OR YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF SLAMMED AGAINST THE WALL WITH MY HANDS PRESSED BETWEEN YOUR LEGS. SO UNLESS YOU WANT THAT, DON'T BITE YOUR FUCKING LIP. The text is in pink on a black background.

Daddy dick

all kids

A young boy is crying in an elevator. The text says "When you didn't get to press the elevator button..." The handle @MYKIDICRIED is visible in the right corner of the image.

LoserIsPro

The image shows four panels, each with a different reaction to a prank. The first panel shows the teacher, the second shows the smart kid who just wanted to learn, the third shows the friends, and the fourth shows the prankster. The text reads: "Teacher: How do I turn up the volume? Me: Press alt + f4. Teacher:*gets disconnected*. Teacher. The smart kid who just wanted to learn. My friends. The rest of the class. Me. They love me."

Opallllllllllll

i wanna be a firefighter when i grow up

A news article headline reads: "4-year-old Hazel Park boy fatally mauled by pit bull, mother hospitalized." Below the headline is a photo of a young boy wearing a fireman's hat. The article is from the Detroit Free Press, and mentions Frank Witsll as the author and publication dates.

✨Jassy✨

Like if you can relate and comment if you think this is funny

The image consists of two panels. The top panel shows a text saying "7 y/o me in my dad's car: Dad, I wanna turn on the light. Can I press this button?" with an image of a hand about to press a car light button. The bottom panel shows a text saying "My dad:" with an image of the character Rocket Racoon from the movie Guardians of the Galaxy saying "No!! That's the button that will kill everyone".

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