Worst Jokes Ever

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tabs1528

The top image shows two Coast Guard officers standing on a boat, looking at a person in a large inflatable bubble. The bottom image has a young man with a questioning expression. The text reads: "Florida Man Who Tried to 'Run' to Bermuda in Inflatable Bubble Rescued by Coast Guard, Again. AGAIN...?"

Heroin Monkey

SCHOOL
SPEED
LIMIT
20
7:00 AM 9:30 AM
2:00 PM-5:00 PM
Pedophiles love this sign!
Slower speeds just give perverts more time to stare at kids.
SHARE if you support raising the school-zone speed
limit to 80 mph to keep our children safe!

Willy b

Heroin Monkey

The first part shows a tweet from the National Park Service stating: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." Below that is a reply from heychrisjones stating "Who is running this account?" The second part shows a reply from the National Park Service that contains an image. The image shows a marmot wearing a headset and sitting at a computer in an office setting.

blach66

The image shows a text message conversation. The first message says, "We had a deal, Logan, if you sent me Gary pictures, no waffles." The second message below says, "I FORGOT". Above the messages is the text "I need new friends."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text message conversation with KFC. The first message reads "Hello there's something wrong with my chicken", and an image of an oddly shaped piece of fried chicken is shown. The second message from KFC reads "What the fuck".

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets are shown. The first tweet says: "Imagine walking 2km to hatch an egg and it turning out to be a fucking magikarp." The second tweet is by user Magikarp The Fish saying: "imagine waiting nine months to give birth and it's you"

Heroin Monkey

The image contains four screenshots of tweets. The first by Beans After Dark says "british people be like im bri ish". The second by ryan says "british ppl wake up in a bathtub full of ice with their kidneys gone n be like 'right. what's all this then?'". The third by quinn says "British people could watch their family be murdered and be like 'hmmm i dont quite fancy that'". The fourth by Caleb says "British people be like 'litchrally'"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a mockup of a WhatsApp chat interface with Friedrich Engels' picture on the right. The WhatsApp screen shows a conversation with Karl Marx repeatedly messaging "I NEED money". The text above reads "WHAT IF FRIEDRICH ENGELS HAD WHATSAPP" with laughing emojis next to it.

Heroin Monkey

A text message conversation. It starts with a message from "fbi agent" saying "You welcome, don't mess this up king". Followed by a question "Wyd", the reply "playing xbox with the boys", then "you?" and finally a message saying: "Parents aren't home come over".

Anonymous

A screenshot of a tweet that reads: "pussy tighter than an aztec clay face mask."

Heroin Monkey

A plush rat wearing a chef's hat and apron is holding a wooden spoon. The text on the image reads "hey guys what emotion does this image make you feel?", and there are two chat replies: "lust" and "anyone else".

Heroin Monkey

This is so bad

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet is from Caitlyn Jenner, it reads "It's so hard to find a straight man that is confident enough to compliment me on my looks.". The second tweet is a reply from Donald J. Trump, and it reads "Nice balls."

Heroin Monkey

A close-up shot of a blue bowl filled with mashed potatoes and a pat of butter on top. The text above reads: "Food for thought: Are mashed potatoes just Irish guacamole?" The text below states: "Kerry O'Shea | June 11, 2019-01:18 PM"

Anonymous

A screenshot of a Discord message that reads, "Nah but why does your appendix do absolutely nothing and then just try to kill you?"

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Twitter exchange. The first user asks the official Minions account if they used to work for Hitler. The Minions account replies "no silly we only work for villians!"

Heroin Monkey

Sarah
Chongalongadong
when you hug a guy and you
smell his colon
11/7/14, 2:36 AM from Queens, NY
tayLORD.
ErykanBaDent
When you can still smell his colon
on your pillows even though he's
not there >>>>>>>>
@RichOrb
I love when I can smell a guy's
colon as he walks by
7/14/14, 10:13 AM
jen
basedgin
Stylish Sweetheart
KAY5wEels
after you hug a boy and you smell
like his colon <33
I smell like his colon now
11/12/14 1:16 PM

opal💫

A chart showing the times of the day from 1 am to 12 pm, with a cheese icon next to each of the morning times (am) and a steak icon next to each of the afternoon times (pm).

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a thermostat displaying an error message that reads "Account Terminated. Your behaviour has violated the OJ Family Code of Conduct. Reason: Leaking United States classified documents. This thermostat has been locked." The time on the screen is "Fri 1:30 PM" and the temperature is "-964°C". The text "they done banned me from the thermostat" is overlayed at the bottom.

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