Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A receipt with the text: Bill. Dine In. Server: Jessica A. Tab: Bill. 1 Pina Colada "Extra Creamy" Idfk. That's just what he said he wanted. I guess add whip before you blend. Idfk. I hate it here.

blach66

Help

The first image shows a set of pencils neatly arranged, with the text overlay 'Sorry, I don't speak poor'. The second image below shows a damaged keyboard with missing keycaps and the overlay text 'Me too'.

Bethanywoodallen20

The image shows a distorted face that is a mix between a person and a guitar. The face's mouth is a guitar's sound hole, and the nose and forehead appear as part of the guitar neck. Below this image are two text messages. The first message in a blue bubble reads "When your childs born aucoustic" and the second message is in a grey bubble and reads "Don't ever text me again or I'll call the cops".

Toast ツ

The image shows a conversation where a user is asking to "dap up". The other user responds with "No?" Then asks "Why are your memes so cursed", which is followed by an image with an angry emoji saying "Fuck you mean no?". The first user is confused and responds, "How did you have a fuckin response to my no"

Anonymous

Salute to this awesome setup

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel image with three yellow smiley faces and a screenshot of a Wikipedia article. The first smiley face is smiling with two thumbs up and says 'hey so um'. The second smiley face is smiling and says 'there's this girl'. The third smiley face is turned upside down and says 'and um'. The fourth panel is a screenshot from Wikipedia about 'The Game (mind game)'. The text reads: "The Game is a mental game where the objective is to avoid thinking about The Game itself. Thinking about The Game constitutes a loss, which must be announced each time it occurs. It is impossible to win most versions."

Jazzy💕

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person suggests playing a game, asking who the other would choose to be stranded with on a deserted island. The other person replies, "That's easy. Dora - that girl has everything in her backpack." The first person responds with sad emojis.

Heroin Monkey

A text conversation screenshot where a person with the name Jessica says "I tried callin." and then "This Jessica btw". The other person asks "Fed or bot?" and the person replies with "Bye". Below the conversation there is an image of the cartoon characters Kim Possible and Johnny Bravo, the latter with a gun pointing and stating "ANSWER THE QUESTION". Jessica replies “Fed”.

The Unknown King of Moderation

Relatable

The meme shows three images, and the text 'men honestly are something else' above them. The first one is a chat message from 'Ri Guy' at 10:38 PM asking 'Do u have a paper clip?', with the response 'On the floor by my file cabinet'. The second and third images show a file cabinet, a bottle of cleaner and a single paperclip on the floor next to the cabinet.

Anonymous

Epic fail moment

There are two women holding signs. One sign says, "All men are pigs," and the other says, "Women are equal to men." Below the image of the women are two animated characters in a scene from a cartoon.

Heroin Monkey

A woman's mugshot below a newspaper headline that reads, "'Long Live Chairman Mao!' woman shouts as she decapitates her landlord with a Samurai Sword for raising her rent."

CrackedRuby_alt

Oop

A tweet from CBS News stating that a Florida man was arrested for kidnapping 27 people and forcing them to play Yahtzee for 36 hours straight. The tweet includes the man's mugshot.

stillwaiting..

A phone screen shows a text message conversation with the last message reading "My boyfriend", followed by two images of Kermit the frog. The first image is Kermit looking at a phone with a shocked expression. The second image is Kermit laying on the floor and having his chest compressed.

Heroin Monkey

800
>
Tweet
Pokémon →
@Pokemon
How would you put "I'm a Pokémon
Trainer" on your resume?
2:58 PM 4/6/21 - Sprinklr
177 Retweets 132 Quote Tweets 2,217 Likes
27
↑
Wandering Weeaboo @Churc... 10m ...
Replying to @Pokemon
i kidnap wild animals and shove them in
my balls
7
178
124
Show replies

shaylie lol

A cartoon girl with messy hair looks groggy. Text above her says: "When ya momma wake u up in the morning and u fall back asleep and you hear her coming."

Willy b

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

Heroin Monkey

jesse
@oneinchweenie
is anal squirting a thing or did this
bitch just shit on my bed
10:37 PM 11/7/19 Twitter for iPhone

Wade

COCaine

A cartoon figure with red and white face, big eyes, and a pointy hat appears to be dancing. Next to it, another cartoon figure with a smaller body and a jester hat looks dizzy or dazed. The text says: "POMNI I HAVE SNORTED A SUITCASE FULL OF COKE AND I'M STARTING TO FEEL THE AFFECTS! HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHA"

Heroin Monkey

The first part shows a tweet from the National Park Service stating: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." Below that is a reply from heychrisjones stating "Who is running this account?" The second part shows a reply from the National Park Service that contains an image. The image shows a marmot wearing a headset and sitting at a computer in an office setting.

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