Worst Jokes Ever

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Open Memes

Jazzy💕

Like mf how tf am I supposed to talk when my mouth is wide tf open

The image shows a scene from Spongebob Squarepants. Patrick Star is holding Spongebob's mouth open, while Spongebob looks distressed. The text on top of the image reads "Nobody: The dentist: So how's life going".

MEME LORD

I need a female to fart in my mouth -
m4w - 34 (Detroit)
age: 34
I want a big beautiful black lady here in
Detroit to fart in my mouth with gas. I just
want you to get on the couch and bend over so
I can open my mouth wrap my lips around
your asshole. I need you to fart loud and long
filling up my mouth, while I mastubate.

⭐️🌙✨SUNNA AHMAD✨🌙⭐️

Me 6 years ago when I be opening a chip bag :

The image depicts two animated characters. One is a blue figure, and the other is a green tree character. The blue character appears to be struggling with the green tree. The text above the characters reads, "3 year old me trying to get a chip bag open," and the text at the bottom of the image reads, "But... how do you open this thing? It, it won't... budge!"

shaylie lol

The image shows a four-panel grid of a small child running and making faces. The first two panels show the child running. The bottom two panels show the child's face getting increasingly annoyed. The text on top reads "how i feel when i gotta get up and close the door after someone left it open".

Heroin Monkey

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Wade

Good Question….Beavis and Butthead should be on here too

The image shows three panels. The top panel depicts Wolverine with his claws out with the text "WHO HAS" written in green. The middle panel shows Deadpool with a serious face, with the text "THE BEST" also in green. The bottom panel shows Tom from Tom and Jerry with his hand appearing as if his fingers are just grown back, with the text "HEALING FACTOR" in green.

Anonymous

Right, the bit as the bottom... i mean, look i keep myslef open on systems to rule empires and shit should i ever need to be it.

A drawing of a hydra with multiple heads. The text on the image reads: "Hydra System. The Hydra is simple, every 2 represents a 1. When a head is cut, its twin must lead the next 2 novice heads. This means when every weak point is exercised the weak spot is a new offense. The perfect system."

Heroin Monkey

A person's eye is shown. A text overlay says, "I just noticed your avi looks like a frog trying to hold a elevator open."

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

In a two-panel cartoon, a white figure labeled "OpenAI" reaches for a white balloon labeled "Dream of beating Google in their own game." In the second panel, a pink figure labeled "Google launches Bard" watches as the OpenAI figure's balloon bursts.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

✨Jassy✨

I hate it when that happens

Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants with his mouth wide open and tongue sticking out as if he is in great pain. The text above reads: "When you swallow a tortilla chip and it slowly slices your throat open on the way down."

✨Jassy✨

Stupid Bitches

The image shows a two panel meme with the top panel text reading "me: opens sunroof" and the bottom panel text reading "everyone else on the submarine:". Below that is a surprised Pikachu.

Heroin Monkey

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Wade

Sold out

The image shows a meme with the text 'Five nights at Freddy's movie opening weekend be like'. It shows a stick figure labeled 'Fnaf fan' diving towards the lower image and a woman labeled 'October 27' who is crawling in the other direction. The bottom right corner includes a watermark saying 'MEMES'.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a four-panel cartoon. The first panel shows a photo of a building labeled "Goth IHOP", with a banner saying "Grand Opening!" The other three panels feature a simple stick-figure drawing. In the first of the three panels, the stick figure sits on a couch, looking sad, and the text says, "where is my food." In the next panel, a goth girl sits on the couch next to the stick figure, and the text reads "i am the food~". In the last panel, the stick figure is sitting at a table with a large pool of blood on it, and the goth girl's head is lying on the table.

the taste of mommy's milk

a

A close-up photo of a cat looking up with its head slightly tilted back. The text on the image reads "POV: Your iPhone when you try to open it using FaceID."

Why should you care

The image shows two side-by-side photos. The left one shows a cartoon of a bee with wide eyes looking directly at the viewer, and above it is written, 'what my cat sees when she opens her eyes midnap'. The right image is a cat mostly submerged in the snow, only part of its head and tail visible. Above this photo is written, 'me trying to get through life'.

Blach66.1

A screenshot of the Google Play Store page for the Kuda money app, which is advertised as being for Africans. Text overlaid on the image questions the phrasing, suggesting the app is for "Africans for money".

Face mcshooty

A still from a film with a man looking slightly perplexed above the text "When she wants me to open up but I already told her my full name and favorite color."

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

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