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Newness memes

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Heroin Monkey
2 years ago
The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A screenshot of a Change.org petition page with the title "Make Shrek the National Bird". The page shows a picture of Shrek with a U.S. flag background. The petition has 161,843 signatures out of a goal of 200,000, and it was started April 28, 2017 and addressed to President Donald J. Trump and 2 others.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a sphere of corn on a blue background with the text "NEW! CORN ON THE ORB" and "It's round now!".
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  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A red cereal box titled "NOCAP'N CRUNCH" with a cartoon character resembling Cap'n Crunch. The box also says, "DEADASS SWEETENED CORNUSSY & OAT CEREAL" and "BUSSIN' ON GOD FR FR!" The cartoon character is wearing a black hoodie with a Supreme logo and has an anchor tattoo on his hand. A hand is holding the box. The text at the top reads "New cereal just dropped".
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A Costco advertisement shows a large casserole with text "NEW! 3 ACRE CASSEROLE. Feeds 10,000!". Below is a news headline: "Costco Unveils New Three-Acre Casserole That Feeds 10,000".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A Google search result showing that the NATO reporting name for the MiG-15 is "Fagot". The text also says that the Soviets provided the MiG-15 to communist satellite nations, including North Korea.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A product called TOYPEDO, an underwater torpedo, is packaged in a blister pack.  There is also an image of a boy holding a similar toy. The text says "TOYPEDO, UNDERWATER TORPEDO - TORPILLE SOUS-MARINE". There is text that indicates the toy goes up to 30 feet and is 915 cm.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a group of soldiers in military gear, with one soldier aiming a rifle around a corner. Below this image, there is a news banner that reads, "Breaking News. Live. Due to a decrease in cookie sales, the Girl Scouts switch to a more aggressive sales campaign."
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  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a screenshot of a Twitter profile of a user named Emily, who has 'FREE PALPATINE' in her bio and a Palestinian flag. Below, there is an image of Palpatine behind bars. It also has the hashtag '#FreePalpatine'.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A tweet shows a school board proposing a list of names for a school. These names include "Drew Brees Elementary", "Bruce Lee Elementary", "John Cena Elementary School", "Adolf Hitler School for Friendship and Tolerance", and "Schoolie McSchoolface". The tweet comments, "This is what happens when you let the students submit new names for their school."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A weather map showing a storm system resembling a phallic shape pointing toward the Carolinas. Text on the image includes “Looks like the Carolinas are going to get pounded....” along with labeled locations: “New York”, “Washington”, “Raleigh”, and “cksonville”.
  • 0
  • Chunke Monke
    2 years ago
    A hand-drawn map of the USA with several regions labeled. It reads: How the rest of the world sees USA: New York, what?, Los Angeles, yee haw, Disney World.
  • 4
  • αmy
    2 years ago

    i know what i’m naming my child

    A Google search results page for the search term "p girl names." The results include typical names like "Paige," "Patricia," and "Penelope," but also lists "Pakistan International Airlines."
  • 5
  • Silly Sonka
    2 years ago

    What da hood calls you when you are the new cult leader

    The image shows a group of simple stick figures. One figure in the center is slightly larger and has its arms outstretched, as if leading. Above them, in colorful letters, it says, "A Self Proclaimed Prophet".
  • 0
  • CrackedRuby_alt
    2 years ago

    Oop

    A tweet from CBS News stating that a Florida man was arrested for kidnapping 27 people and forcing them to play Yahtzee for 36 hours straight. The tweet includes the man's mugshot.
  • 1
  • Silly Sonka
    2 years ago

    Erg

    A four-panel comic strip featuring the Stonks character. In the first panel, he finds a chest in a cave. The second panel shows him opening a scroll with bright light. The third panel displays the scroll reading, "News Flash: You suck, Stonk." The fourth panel shows him running away. The text on the image includes "We finally found it...after 15 years", "The scroll of truth!", "News Flash: You suck, Stonk", and "NYEHHH".
  • 0
  • Wade
    2 years ago
    A comic strip shows people dressed in Harry Potter costumes waiting outside a store with a sign that reads 'Midnight Sale'. The text reads 'THE PAST... "IT WAS THE EARLY 2000s. A TIME WHEN WE ALL LEARNED TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS AGAINST SPOILERS." I'VE AVOIDED READING NEWSPAPERS AND EVEN LOGGED OFF OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB TO MAKE SURE THAT THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK ISN'T RUINED FOR ME. "ME TOO! I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK MY GEOCITIES PAGE UNTIL I'M THROUGH THE BOOK!" MIDNIGHT SALE SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! -OOOOOOOORRRRE! NOOOOOOOO!'. In the next panels, Deadpool in a Harry Potter themed cloak spoils the book.
  • 0
  • W
    Wilkinsonburritos
    2 years ago

    Happy New Year’s Eve. 2023 was something lol

    An illustration depicts a group of diverse individuals in a casual setting. Some figures display expressions of surprise or excitement, while others appear more composed. There are multiple stylized figures.
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