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Rocket

21 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A distorted, unsettling image of a man in a suit with large, bulging eyes, a rocket visible in the background, and the text "HE FUCKED THE ROCKET" in red, pixelated letters. The image has a glitchy, analog horror aesthetic. Below this image, a tweet from "Starships Forward Flaps" asks, "can someone make nasa analogue horror".

Muslim

29 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A man with dreadlocks, wearing a black hoodie and a silver chain, looks directly at the viewer with a serious, unimpressed expression. Overlaid on the image is text that reads: "How Muslim 🥷's who drink, smoke, has tattoos look at you when u offer them a BACON egg and cheese sandwich."

Currency

63 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

Smoke detector

19 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

An old colored photograph shows a man resembling Albert Einstein standing in front of a blackboard, gesturing towards a drawing of a 9-volt battery and a smoke detector with the word "Chirp!!" next to it. A group of young Black men, dressed in suits and ties, are seated in rows, attentively watching him. The top text reads: "So as you can see, the smoke detector has a 9 volt battery which goes here..."

Pigeon

40 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A split image shows the cartoon character 'The Pigeon' from Mo Willems' children's books on the left, encircled in red. On the right is a serious-looking Donald Trump, wearing a suit and red tie. Below them is a news banner with the text: 'NEWS. TRUMP UNDER FIRE FOR ALLEGEDLY LETTING THE PIGEON DRIVE THE BUS.'

Depression

34 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A screenshot of a mobile phone displaying a text overlay at the top, which reads "guys my mom took my phone and i lisen to xxx to cure my depressin and trauma away 💔💔💔💔👎👎👎👎". Below this, there's a Reddit search bar. A list of subreddits is visible, with "r/XXXTENTACION" circled in orange. Below it are "r/sprunkirule34butgood" and "r/numberblocksrule34". On the right side of the screen, there's a gray Care Bear-like character with black hair and a broken red heart on its chest, and a cartoon anatomical heart character with arms and legs, wearing blue sneakers. A red heart emoji is also visible near the bottom left.

Theft

111 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A top-down shot of a large amount of groceries laid out on a table, including boxes of cereal, packaged meats (chicken and beef), bags of snacks (Cheez-It, chips), canned goods (tuna, crushed tomatoes, green beans), cartons of milk, jugs of water, and other various food items. Above the image, text reads: "@entrapanure here's what $0 gets you at a grocery store if you're not a pussy".

Baby

29 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A sleeping newborn baby lies in a grey bassinet with a mobile featuring a heart-shaped ornament hanging above it. White text at the top reads, "STORK DENIERS BE LIKE," and white text at the bottom says, "MUST HAVE BEEN SEX."

Rome

27 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

The image shows the Colosseum in Rome under a bright sky with a sunburst. Overlayed on the image is text in white font that reads: "Rome building starts tomorrow at 7AM sharp. Don't be late because they only gave us one day to do it." In the bottom right corner, there is a small red alarm clock.

Tattoo

57 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A meme with text at the top and an image below. The text reads: "Tattoo artist: your tattoo is done! Credit card: *declines* Tattoo artist:". Below the text, a pair of hands is shown using a potato peeler to peel a potato, with potato peels already on the surface.

Proof

79 views · Bubblegumㅤ · 5 months ago

A close-up photograph of a white and grey cat looking directly at the camera with a slightly confused or unimpressed expression. The top part of the image has white text overlay that reads: 'I seriously don't understand why we need birth certificates, like I promise you I was born.'

Incest

595 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

Mal is from alabama

Skull

62 views · Big Jim · 5 months ago

… none of the above..

Two skull-shaped bathroom fixtures are shown side-by-side. On the left is a white toilet shaped like a skull, with the text "Spooky dookie?". On the right is a white urinal also shaped like a skull, with the text "Or... Creepy peepee".

Decision

53 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A classical painting style image shows a young woman with long dark hair, wearing a green and blue dress, sitting gracefully on a moss-covered rock. She is looking to her left, with a serene expression, under a starry night sky with trees in the background. Overlayed in white text are the words: "due to not wanting to, I will not. thanks."

Plant

50 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A four-panel comic. In the first panel, a woman with a green bow in her hair waters a basil plant with a red watering can. In the second, she looks sad while watering an empty pot labeled "Thyme", next to other pots labeled "Rosemary" and "Nirnroot". In the third panel, she asks a man, "Honey, why isn't my Thyme growing?" He replies, "Be patient. Give it some Thyme." In the fourth panel, the woman is in a hospital bed with an IV drip. A bear-like doctor shows her an X-ray of a human chest, with a bone clearly labeled "Thymus". The comic is attributed to Enzo Comics and CUEK.CO.

Science

54 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A black and white meme featuring a Wojak character (also known as Feels Guy) with a wormhole-like grid representing spacetime extending from his head. Above him, orange text reads, 'TIME IS AFFECTED BY GRAVITY'. Below him, magenta text reads, 'DISAGREE? SCIENCE IS UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU'. The signature 'Absolutna Cwelina' is in the bottom right.

Student

57 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A news article headline states 'Student CRUCIFIES a rat on a wooden cross before burning it after catching the rodent 'eating his pet turtle''. Below the headline are two images. The left image shows a rat, appearing to be dead, tied to a small wooden cross made of two branches, which is propped up against a tree trunk in a grassy area. The rat's limbs are outstretched as if crucified. The right image is a close-up of the rat on the cross, showing its face and body more clearly, with wires or string wrapped around its limbs to the cross. The rat's mouth is open slightly.

Steal

50 views · Anonymous · 5 months ago

When I steal my hbs 10/10 wolf cut Latina so he genuinely transforms me into the Khaby Lame Mechanism

A bust of Khaby Lame, a dark-skinned man, is displayed against a dark background. Two small, disembodied hands are attached to the bust's shoulders by wires or rods, posed in his signature shrug gesture. The bust rests on a white pedestal, surrounded by white fabric.

Reaction

49 views · Anonymous · 5 months ago

when someone says 67

A young person with light, shaggy hair and glowing blue eyes is captured mid-reaction, with their mouth stretched open comically wide, revealing a glowing blue interior. The person wears a grey hooded sweatshirt, and other blurred individuals are in the background, illuminated by a faint blue light. The expression is one of extreme, almost supernatural, surprise or exclamation.

Generation

58 views · Bubblegumㅤ · 5 months ago

A green, furry monkey with a serious expression is shown emerging from a peeled yellow banana, standing upright in a jungle environment with vines hanging in the background. White text overlays the image, reading: 'Historians will skip our generation'.

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