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Parent

62 views · Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet from @drink2beers that says: "when my parents keep asking me why I don't have a girlfriend for Valentine's Day and I GENUINELY have to explain to them who Benjamin Netanyahu is". Below the text is a picture of actor Jonah Hill wearing a suit, looking exhausted with his eyes closed, rubbing the bridge of his nose/eye area in frustration.

Walter White

35 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A four-panel image using characters from the TV show *Breaking Bad* and the anime *Bleach*. In the top left, Badger Mayhew offers, "Let me headpat you". In the top right, Walter White angrily rejects him, saying, "Stfu libtard I'm fine on my own..". In the bottom left, the anime character Yoruichi Shihoin, in a cat-eared form, commands, "Meow for me while I headpat you". In the bottom right, Walter White smiles intensely and shouts, "YES YORUICHI glory to catgirlwawa!".

Tail

37 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post from the subreddit r/playboicarti. The post is titled "I think everyone wishes humans had tails". The body of the post describes a hypothetical scenario at Walmart where a mom compliments someone's hair. The author suggests that if humans had tails, they would wag involuntarily, revealing excitement and causing embarrassment when the 'mom' notices.

Water

246 views · Anonymous · 3 months ago

lol

A two-panel screenshot from a Roblox-style game. In the top panel, a purple square-shaped head is seen in the water with a speech bubble that reads 'Help me im drowning'. In the bottom panel, a colorful character with flower petals around its neck stands on a white platform and replies with a speech bubble saying 'eat the water'.

Reminder

39 views · Siri_the_Robot · 3 months ago

Do it

A meme consisting of text and a screenshot of a phone notification. The top text reads: "Me: Siri remind me to dye my hair tomorrow please. Siri next morning:". Below this is a screenshot of an iPhone notification from the Reminders app, dated 12:00 PM and labeled "now". The reminder text is: "Die today".

Racism

343 views · K!ttyy · 3 months ago

Love the things I talk about

A screenshot of a messaging app conversation. One user asks, "why are you teaching me racial slurs?" and the other replies, "Why not". The first user then sends a string of messages: "cause im not racist", "i mean", "i do say the n word alot", "and make fun of mexicans", "and i really hate the yellow people", "and most jews suck", "but im not racist".

Girl

41 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A screenshot of a 4chan greentext post from October 11, 2015. It features an image of a young blonde girl and the following text: ">been chatting with cute 14 year old girl >really flirty and sexy >now she tells me she's an undercover cop >how fucking cool is that for someone her age"

Semen

80 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A screenshot of two 4chan posts. The top post features a greentext story and a picture of the anime character Cirno. The text claims the author used their own semen as a skincare product overnight and it cured their acne. The bottom post features a picture of Konata Izumi and a reply stating the user is going to try it, hoping it isn't a prank.

Lingerie

138 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A screenshot of an online comment section. The top comment by 'sissyslutforyouonly' reads: "I wore my mom's lingerie and got off to imagining my dad doing me (I'm not a girl)". A reply by 'dave_mustains_stolen_riff' features a black and white image of a war-weary soldier with a thousand-yard stare, looking intensely into the camera.

Wife

31 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A meme with text at the top: "Me When my wife asks me where our daughters heart surgery money went (the evil blackjack dealer has it)". Below the text is a close-up photo of a brown dog looking directly at the camera with a wide-eyed, shocked, or guilty expression.

Puppy

151 views · K!ttyy · 3 months ago

reddit ts

Sibling

191 views · Anonymous · 3 months ago

Pov: me and my little brother

A digital illustration depicts two characters. A tall figure with a magnifying glass head and a suit sits relaxed on a white sofa. Behind him, a smaller figure with an 8-ball head is stuck to the wall with duct tape in an 'X' shape.

History

129 views · what’s dudeese · 3 months ago

A photo of a laptop screen showing a college application form for the College of Arts & Sciences. The question asks "Discuss why you have chosen history as your major." In the text box, the user has typed "the little dark age edits". There is overlay text that says "i hope my admissions officer knows ball 💔 wish me luck ✌️".

YouTube Video

362 views · Gummy gummy gummy bear · 4 months ago

💀

A meme showing a text dialog where a mother says 'you can watch one more YouTube video before bed.' Underneath is a screenshot of a YouTube video featuring Woody from Toy Story. The title of the video is an absurdly long, nested list of conditions involving Ice Age, Toy Story, YouTube, The Simpsons, Bee Movie, and SpongeBob. The progress bar shows a timestamp composed of an impossible, extremely long string of numbers.

Promotion

62 views · Heroin Monkey · 4 months ago

A meme featuring a screenshot of actor Brad Pitt from the movie 'Meet Joe Black'. He is smiling warmly and sincerely at a woman who has her back to the camera. The text overlay reads: 'Me GENUINELY telling my wife I got promoted to assistant manager at KFC so she can finally quit her job as a brain surgeon'.

Foot

220 views · Creed (shit isnt availabe) · 4 months ago

The image contains text that says "Girl: I only date 6 feet guys" and "Me with 2 feet:". Below the text is a picture of a man sitting on the floor, looking sad. He is wearing a plaid shirt and blue sneakers.

Cat

231 views · Heroin Monkey · 4 months ago

A high-contrast, deep red and orange filtered image of a cat looking directly at the camera with an intense expression. Overlaid text reads: "I remember saying 'no we can't' to the Bob the Builder That's where the darkness in me began. The malice, the hatred. It was all from that moment."

Indian

55 views · Anonymous · 4 months ago

I’m sure we all relate to this⬇️

A three-panel comic featuring Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show. In the first panel, they are labeled "Indians" and are attempting to hand a flyer to a man in a suit. In the second panel, the man, labeled "Me", performs an extreme lean to avoid the flyer, which is labeled "Scam calls". In the third panel, the man has successfully walked past them, leaving the characters looking confused.

Friend

11 views · Bob the builder's feet · 4 months ago

me when my friend brings another person you despise with your whole body.

A chibi illustration of the character Serial Designation N from the series Murder Drones. The small robot has white hair, glowing yellow eyes, and wears a black pilot-style hat with yellow lights. He is holding up a giant, mechanical hand with the middle finger extended towards the viewer.

Jazz

102 views · Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

A screenshot of a Reddit comment thread. The first user, Deathcu..., writes a chaotic, rambling paragraph about Charlie Parker only playing scales, interspersed with repetitive exclamations about loving cigarettes, heroin, and tobacco. The second user, BionicTorqueWrench, replies with a simple correction: "Bro, Parker played arpeggios."

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