Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Die Memes

DIANEE

The image is a meme with a split panel. The left side shows a fierce red dragon exhaling fire, with the text "AN ANCIENT BEING CAPABLE OF FLYING AND BREATHING FIRE." The right side shows a red 20-sided die, with the text "ONE CRITICAL BOI." Above both panels, it reads "WHO WOULD WIN?"

DIANEE

The image is a screenshot of a Google search result for "Bearded dragon memes". The main image on the search result shows a bearded dragon with its mouth open, along with the text "Last thing the last cricket sees:". Below are several other smaller images including one that says, "Spike when no crickets," another says "Guess I'll die" and one with the quote "Sand is terrible substrate".

Why should you care

A split image. On the left is a screenshot from a video game with a character walking near a small structure that might be a doghouse. A creature that resembles a dog is running near the character. The text says: "Probably a doghouse, though I'm not sure since there's no dog around." On the right, there is a red die with the number 1 on top. The text reads: "ME A HALFLING: YES! I CAN REROLL. ME: ....".

sonicjokesmemesandposts

wow mario got done dirty

The image is a four-panel meme. The top left panel shows an old video game screenshot of Sonic with the text: "When the drowning countdown starts, but Tails takes the air bubble. SCORE 34160 TIME 2:03 RINGS 341 guess I'll die". The top right panel says: "KIDS TODAY GETTING THEIR VIDEO GAME TURNED INTO A MOVIE GET THIS" and shows two images of Sonic: one old and one new movie version. The bottom left panel says: "KIDS IN MY DAY GOT THIS..." and shows an image of a Goomba. The bottom right panel shows an image of the live-action version of King Koopa.

RapBoat

Diddy cook??

Diddy with a serious expression is shown wearing a shirt that says, "VOTE OR DIE!", and opening his suit jacket to reveal it. He's in front of an audience.

big [fire] balls

Two images show a conversation. In the top image, a man asks a priest, "What happens after you die?" In the bottom image, the priest responds, "Lots of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image is a comic strip showing three panels. In the first panel, an elderly man in military attire is talking to a younger man sitting next to him, who is also playing a video game. The text says, "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DEFEATED THE NAZIS IN HOLLAND." The younger man responds, "You have to let me go, grandpa. It's not your fault you inspired me to join the military. I knew the risks when I signed up. It was my choice." In the second panel, the younger man fades and becomes translucent. The text says, "Men shouldn't die so young." In the third panel, the elderly man is sitting alone on the chair.

Heroin Monkey

Big Bird is standing looking downward. Below him text reads: "Big Bird once again kindly offers money to homeless Oscar. He knows fully well that Oscar would immediately use it to fulfill his heroin addiction, which is precisely what he wants. Enough money to help him stay addicted, but not enough to get him to quit or die. An endless cycle of suffering that keeps him throbbingly erect at night."

The Banana Guy

A white cat with black spots is in focus, staring at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "I HATE WHEN WEBSITES ASK: "ARE YOU A HUMAN?" LIKE NO, I'M A DINOSAUR THAT FORGOT TO DIE 100 MILLION YEARS AGO"

Jazzy💕

Unless you wanna die

Things you never tell a Latina
-Chill
-I'm breaking up with you
-Lower your voice
-Calm down
-Relax
-You're crazy
[stares in Spanish]

Anonymous

None of the new Willy Wonka
movies have understood that Gene
Wilder's version of Wonka worked
because you felt like there was a
real chance he was just gonna sit
there and watch those kids die
boredpanda.com

Anonymous

wonder if he's thinking about me
I need to reach that tree before that
car or I'll die

Your local comrade

I can now cross it off my bucket list

Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

A Star Wars Fan

ME WHEN THAT ONE KID
REMINDS THE TEACHER ABOUT HOMEWORK
You know the rules, it's time to die

Anonymous

A dog with a hat is standing on four soda cans. The cans are labeled with the text "dumb jokes", "passionate opinions about useless shit", "the same music I've been listening to for a decade", and "wanting to die". The text "my whole personality" appears above the dog.

Anonymous

This just inspired me to take action.

A black and white kitten with blue eyes sits on a wooden floor. There is a text bubble near the kitten's head that reads, "You will die with regrets."

RapBoat

Heroin Monkey

The image shows three panels. On the left, a damaged black car says: "Please stop giving me your worst drivers and let me die." On the right above, a drawing of Jesus says: "But you're my strongest Altima. Meet your next driver, Hayleigh." Below Jesus, a drawing of a girl with pink hair exclaims: "omggggg yayyyy"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two panels. The first shows a cartoon character on fire running towards a strange, cyclops-like character. The text says, "Stop normalising the grind and normalise whatever the f*ck this is." The second panel shows another cartoon character with the text "millions who took the pill that works both ways must die."

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