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Shitpost master-general

A screenshot of a Twitter (or X) feed on a dark background. The top section shows 'Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper' with a 'Subscribe' button and the text 'BREAKING: Official Elmo account hacked'. Below this are three posts from a verified 'Elmo @elmo' account.
The first tweet, posted '44s' ago, reads: 'Elmo says ALL JEWS SHOULD DIE. FUCK JEWS. DONALD TRUMP IS NETANYAHU'S PUPPET BECAUSE HE IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. JEWS CONTROL THE WORLD AND NEED TO BE EXTERMINATED.'
The second tweet, posted '7m' ago, reads: 'RELEASE THE FILES @realDonaldTrump CHILD FUCKER'.
The third tweet, posted '10m' ago, reads: 'Kill all Jews.'
The bottom of the screenshot shows '7:22 PM . 13 Jul 25 . 2.2M Views'.

what’s dudeese

A screenshot of a text message conversation on a black background. The first message, in a dark gray bubble, says, "If I jumped from your ego to your intelligence I'd die". The second message, in a blue bubble, replies, "Yeah but if I jumped from your ignorance to your reasoning I'd die of old age before I hit anything". Below the messages, an iMessage input field and various app icons are partially visible.

A screenshot of a computer screen showing a severe moderation notice from an online platform. The title reads "Family Execution on 7/30". The text below states, "Our content monitors have determined that your behavior is a violation of our Terms of Use. Reviewed: 5/28/2020 12:03:19 AM (CT). Moderator Note: A Hitman Will be Sent to Your House. Reason: Inappropriate. Offensive Item: yo waffles are kinda fire ngl. Your Family Will Die. If you wish to appeal, please contact us via the Support." A "Logout" button is visible at the bottom right.

A Star Wars Fan

A blurry image of a grumpy-looking white cat with black markings sitting on a patterned surface. White text overlays the image. The text reads: "I HATE WHEN WEBSITES ASK: " ARE YOU A HUMAN? " LIKE NO, I'M A DINOSAUR THAT FORGOT TO DIE 100 MILLION YEARS AGO".

A cartoon drawing of a man with an orange head, beard, and glasses. He wears a white t-shirt that says "I HATE" in black text above the word "Fun" in rainbow colors. He holds a bunch of multi-colored crayons in his left hand. Below the drawing is a screenshot of a tweet from user Gurt stating, "nuclear warfare is not based millions on innocent people will die". The tweet source is @SteyrACR_real.

A pixelated image of a person with red eyes in a blue and black environment has the text "If Herobrine isn't real, how did my dad die from a Herobrine overdose?"

The image is a meme with a split panel. The left side shows a fierce red dragon exhaling fire, with the text "AN ANCIENT BEING CAPABLE OF FLYING AND BREATHING FIRE." The right side shows a red 20-sided die, with the text "ONE CRITICAL BOI." Above both panels, it reads "WHO WOULD WIN?"

The image is a screenshot of a Google search result for "Bearded dragon memes". The main image on the search result shows a bearded dragon with its mouth open, along with the text "Last thing the last cricket sees:". Below are several other smaller images including one that says, "Spike when no crickets," another says "Guess I'll die" and one with the quote "Sand is terrible substrate".

Why should you care

A split image. On the left is a screenshot from a video game with a character walking near a small structure that might be a doghouse. A creature that resembles a dog is running near the character. The text says: "Probably a doghouse, though I'm not sure since there's no dog around." On the right, there is a red die with the number 1 on top. The text reads: "ME A HALFLING: YES! I CAN REROLL. ME: ....".

sonicjokesmemesandposts

wow mario got done dirty

The image is a four-panel meme. The top left panel shows an old video game screenshot of Sonic with the text: "When the drowning countdown starts, but Tails takes the air bubble. SCORE 34160 TIME 2:03 RINGS 341 guess I'll die". The top right panel says: "KIDS TODAY GETTING THEIR VIDEO GAME TURNED INTO A MOVIE GET THIS" and shows two images of Sonic: one old and one new movie version. The bottom left panel says: "KIDS IN MY DAY GOT THIS..." and shows an image of a Goomba. The bottom right panel shows an image of the live-action version of King Koopa.

Diddy cook??

Diddy with a serious expression is shown wearing a shirt that says, "VOTE OR DIE!", and opening his suit jacket to reveal it. He's in front of an audience.

big [fire] balls

Two images show a conversation. In the top image, a man asks a priest, "What happens after you die?" In the bottom image, the priest responds, "Lots of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image is a comic strip showing three panels. In the first panel, an elderly man in military attire is talking to a younger man sitting next to him, who is also playing a video game. The text says, "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DEFEATED THE NAZIS IN HOLLAND." The younger man responds, "You have to let me go, grandpa. It's not your fault you inspired me to join the military. I knew the risks when I signed up. It was my choice." In the second panel, the younger man fades and becomes translucent. The text says, "Men shouldn't die so young." In the third panel, the elderly man is sitting alone on the chair.

Big Bird is standing looking downward. Below him text reads: "Big Bird once again kindly offers money to homeless Oscar. He knows fully well that Oscar would immediately use it to fulfill his heroin addiction, which is precisely what he wants. Enough money to help him stay addicted, but not enough to get him to quit or die. An endless cycle of suffering that keeps him throbbingly erect at night."

A white cat with black spots is in focus, staring at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "I HATE WHEN WEBSITES ASK: "ARE YOU A HUMAN?" LIKE NO, I'M A DINOSAUR THAT FORGOT TO DIE 100 MILLION YEARS AGO"

Unless you wanna die

A meme with an image of a woman staring intensely. The text above her reads, "Things you never tell a Latina: -Chill -I'm breaking up with you -Lower your voice -Calm down -Relax -You're crazy [stares in Spanish]"

A picture of Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka with text above that reads, "None of the new Willy Wonka movies have understood that Gene Wilder's version of Wonka worked because you felt like there was a real chance he was just gonna sit there and watch those kids die."

The meme shows two images. The top image is of a woman with a thoughtful expression and the text "I wonder if he's thinking about me." The bottom image shows a man running in a wooded area, with the text "I need to reach that tree before that car, or I'll die."

Your local comrade

I can now cross it off my bucket list

The image displays the text "Things I Want To Do Before I Die:".

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