Worst Jokes Ever

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blach66

I think we can all relate

The image shows a comparison of two social media profiles side-by-side. The left side is labeled "ME" and the right is labeled "MY FRIEND". "ME" has 35 followers, whereas "MY FRIEND" has 14.6K followers.

ur momy

when u look like this but your the only one it the group that can pull bitches but u straight

The image shows two women. One on the left is in a red shirt and looks at the camera. The other one on the right is lying down and has green circles on her face.

Im totally not drunk 2.0

As a man can confirm

A toy in its packaging is labeled "Useless Man". It says, "This man contributes absolutely nothing to society! Lazy. Unwashed. Just lies around all day eating chips. Now with clothing!"

TechPriestGotDrip

When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.

A picture of a cartoon character with white hair and a sly smile, with the text "Parents: are you still a virgin? The toaster:"

TechPriestGotDrip

Now you must answer me with toaster memes so I can give them to The Omnissiah

A TechPriest character from Warhammer 40,000 is shown with the text "I showed you my toaster, answer."

原田

A two-panel image. The top panel shows two cartoon characters with swords. The text above the left character is, "The worst she can say is 'No'." The text above the right character is, "The worst she can say is 'Ew'". The bottom panel shows a close-up image of a cartoon mouse with a nervous expression, and the text, "*Screenshot*" below him.

Jazzy💕

Lmao

The image shows three laughing emojis above the text "Only a genius can say these four words four times really fast." Below that, the words "EYE, YAM, STEW, PEED" are displayed in red.

MEME LORD

A person is laying face down on a white surface. The character Plankton from the cartoon "Spongebob Squarepants" is standing on top of the person's back and "massaging" their lower back. Text above the picture reads: "Baby can you give me an upper back massage" Me:

MEME LORD

The image shows text overlayed on a blue background featuring a video game character. The text reads: "I think Fortnite should add a pregnant female skin. Every kill she gets she slowly gives birth. When in water blood comes out. At 10 kills she gives birth and the baby can be your pet. Thoughts? Fortnite should hire me yo."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Heroin Monkey

The image is a four-panel comic featuring the trollface character. In the top left, the trollface is lifting weights with the text "A human can lift more than their weight". The top right panel shows the trollface sitting with the text "1) pick yourself up". In the bottom left panel, the trollface is flying over a city with the text "2) fly". The bottom right panel shows a dark night sky with a trollface in it.

Heroin Monkey

A text message exchange shows a request to buy a card because a coworker's husband was deported. The image below the message shows a greeting card that says "Adios!" with an image of a chihuahua wearing a sombrero. The second text message below the card says "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Heroin Monkey

The image is split into two parts. The upper part shows a man explaining something with a frantic expression, standing in front of a wall covered with papers connected with red threads. The text says, "Me explaining that a pregnant horse can run faster cause it has two horsepower". The bottom part shows a seal with a bored and unimpressed look. The text says, "My physics teacher."

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon picture of Jerry Mouse with wide eyes. The text above says: "I wanna name my puppy 'insane' so when people ask 'are you fucking insane?' I can say 'no I'm fucking my sister'".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows four panels. The first panel shows an ape looking up with the text, "Evolution, can u give me brains to understand world?". The second panel shows a drawing of the evolution of various animals and the text "To understand world?". The third panel shows the same ape looking excited with the text "yeeeeeeeees". The fourth panel shows a silhouetted figure sitting with their head in their hands with the text "actually develops crippling depression like a fcking loser". The final panel shows the same silhouetted figure standing with a noose around its neck with the text "suicide time.".

Heroin Monkey

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Heroin Monkey

MEME LORD

The image shows two drawings of people. On the left, there's a woman with orange hair in a ponytail, wearing a black top. On the right, there's a man with purple hair, glasses and an angry face with mouth open. The text on the image reads: "Only Females can get Pregnant" above the woman, and "SOURCE!?!" below the man.

Heroin Monkey

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

Heroin Monkey

Bill Nye is standing on a beach holding a sign that says: "You can become exempt from No Nut November if you change your phone's calendar to December 1."

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