Masterbating Jokes

Masturbation

I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!

I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"

Fisherman

If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?

A master baiter.

Baby

What does a dead baby look like?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

  • 1
  • Funeral

    They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.

  • 4
  • Baby

    How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?

    I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...