Maltese jokes
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."