Canine jokes

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.

I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...

It was impossible to put down.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

Why was the dog staying in the shade?

Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

What do you call a suspicious dog?

A sussy bark-er.

If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?

Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.

What is a dog's favorite snack?

RUFFles.

Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.

What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.

A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"

What has four legs and one arm?

A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.