ma'am

Ma'am Jokes

Adoption agency

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

Wine

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Sentence

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”

Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”

Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”

Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”

  • 2
  • Mama

    Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."

    Suicide

    A man walks into a library.

    Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

    Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

    Suicidal Man: ...

    Librarian: ...

    The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

    Waitress

    So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."

  • 4