Li jokes

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How do you annoy Pinocchio?

Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"

What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

...A girl scout that got hit by a car.

Johnny Johnny?

Yes pa pa.

Eating sugar?

Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.

Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.

The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,

The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels.

God creating spiders.

God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"

What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?

The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.

Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.

My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.

What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?

Bullying.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.