Laughter

Laughter jokes

Mobile Phone

  • Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

    A: He gave her a ring.

    Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

    A: Knead for Speed.

    Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

    A: He has a black belt.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?

    A: The glitterbug.

    Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

    A: Because they always make-up.

    Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

    A: In their flowerbed.

    Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?

    A: She was a flip-flop.

    Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

    A: A t-shirt.

    Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?

    A: A rainbow.

    Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

    A: The Dish-co.

    Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?

    A: Knight time.

    Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

    A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

    Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

    A: A bun.

    Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

    A: Hip hop.

    Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

    A: Shop ‘til they hop.

    Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

    A: She nailed it.

    Q: What is corn’s favorite music?

    A: Pop.

    Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

    A: It’s a weak day.

    Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

    A: He was running for office.

    Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?

    A: Goooooooooooold!

    Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

    A: He was a cheetah.

    Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

    A: Pennsylvania.

    Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

    A: Inside.

    Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

    A: He forgot his lawsuit.

    Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

    A: He crashed the computer.

    Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

    A: An eyeball.

    Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

    A: Shells.

    Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

    A: In the fall.

    Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

    A: Because he knew he would pass.

    Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

    A: Because it was flat.

    Q: Why didn’t the farmer's son study medicine?

    A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.

    Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

    A: Pi.

    Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?

    Tragedy

  • A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"

    One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."

    A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"

    "Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"

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  • Hitler

  • Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.

    "Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.

    "Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"

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  • Similarity

  • What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

    When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

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  • Orphan

  • What do you call an orphan with parents?

    Idk, I never met one before.

    Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."

    Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.

    More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?

    An orphan.

    Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?

    Because they can’t find one.

    lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!

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  • Joe mama

  • Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”

    That one kid putting Joe: -_-

    Teacher: Who’s Joe?

    The whole class: JOE MAMA!

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