n 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio. Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States. “Father, where is the United States,” Hans asked. His father pointed at a map of North America. “Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be,” he questioned his father. The man pointed towards the Soviet Union. “And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?” The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British. “Where is Germany again, Father?” He pointed to their home country in Central Europe. Hans pondered this information for a second. “One last question, Father.” “Yes?” “Has Hitler seen this map?”
Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees Even got her name on 'em I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em Up and down the boulevard In and out of every bar I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't I'd burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I'd burn this whole town down If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie... And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!". I immediately stopped watching changed the channel
[ when a cop meets a pothead on April 20th ]
Officer : Hi, how high are you?
Pothead : No officer, it's how are you
Officer : oh im sorry ive been high since last night
Pothead : cool, i'd like to give you sum weed, happy 420 sir
Officer : omg thx man appreciate that
What was the last pizza order at the world trade center?
Two Large Plaines
what where Stephen hawkings last words
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb2jGy76v0Y
In about ten days Stephen Hawkings wheelchair is going to have its first and last service
Wakende forever didn’t last forever
My indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, i said ive smelt your fucking armpits youve got no chance
Why are there no fat people in Japan? Last time they had a Fat Man 80,000 people died.
Pilot: This is my last flight everyone Passangers: *Clap* Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason. To conquer my greatest fear. Flight Attendant: And what is that? Pilot: Dying alone. * speeds up towards Twin Towers* Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jeng------
Joe mama so fat I took a picture of her last year and it’s still printing
I fiddled ur mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast
just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time i eat at popeyes 😑
What were Stephen Hawkings last words? Error
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
1:My grandpa died last year 2:What kind of cancer? 1:He was hit by a bus! its called bus cancer
What do you call an orphan with parents? Idk I never met one before Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were he said “I don’t have any” I said “wonder why” Another bonus joke: Me: hey orphan: hey me: what do you do for fun Orphan: look for my parents Me: me so their not dead? Orphan: no they just abounded me More bonus’s: what do you call a homeless kid An orphan last bonus Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home Because they can’t find one lmao this is so funny dark humor can be funny sorry orphans
What is a queef? Something ur mum did in bed last night 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
Three nuns up to Mother Teresa and say Mother Teresa we would not like to be eaten anymore Mother Teresa says okay but first you have to do something Unholy so they a leave and come back 3 days later the first one the first one says Mother Teresa I did something Unholy I took a little kids bike Mother Teresa says okay who drink from the holy water and you are free to go II unlocks upset I did it something worse than her I slept with a married man the last nun walks up and says I did something worse than all of them Mother Teresa says oh god oh gosh are there in the third nut and says I peed in the holy water
