Last moments jokes

I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.

I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"

Wanna hear some famous last words?

"We are just experiencing some turbulence."

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

The Windows XP log out sound.

I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"