Kill Off jokes

"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."

"What type of book is it?"

"An autobiography."

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Stop.

Stop who?

Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

My ex died today.

I also lost my job as a butcher.

My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.

And they're off!