Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup! This joke is about someone who's super desperate to talk to Alya. So desperate, in fact, that they're threatening to end their not-life (whatever that means) and expose Alya's OnlyFans pics if she doesn't reply. And get this, they're even complaining about the price they pay for the pics! You wouldn't know anything about OnlyFans or money, because you spend all your time picking your nose and complaining on Reddit.
geroge Bush
How about you give me them for 10% off
ALEX
NOT A CHANCE BUDDY I NEED MY PICS EVEN IF SHE ASKS FOR AOUT 50% MORE THAN THEY ARE WORTH
spiderman
But i neeeeed to jerk the ween so i can shoot my silly string
ALEX
HOW ABOUT I SEND YOU ABORTED BABIES AND YOU CAN JERK YOUR WEEN TO THEM
ALEX
ALYA I KNOW YOU SEE THIS I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU NOW! YOU DONT HAVE AND OPTION
ALYA
hello? whats up alex wait is this the real alex?
ALYA
what do you need?????
ALYA
ima confused lol...
ALYA
whats up.... hello >_<
ALYA
what do you want... this is not the real alex lol