Jerk-off jokes

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.

What's the point of sex when you're gay?

Because only gay people jerk off.

I wrote a few jokes:

What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

Steven Hawking was going to jerk off, nope. 😂