Imbalance jokes

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.