How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
An old man and a child are walking into the woods, suddenly they stop "Mister," the child says, "I'm scared l, these woods are dark and creepy..." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
Peter Griffin's chin.
Should I mention how much it looks like a penis?
"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
How to you know if your making a caesar salad ? Stabbing it 23 times
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
How ironic is this ?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
Q: How do emo kids complement each other?
A: I like your cuts g.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
