"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
Howe Jokes
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
How does white people's backyard look like? Cotton field!
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
How I talk: Hello
How Stitch talks: HeLlO.
