Howe jokes
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
How are urinals made?
They get installed.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost internet connection.
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!