Howe jokes
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?