Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
Hes Jokes
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was depressed.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
How did the Chinese chicken cross the road?
He wok-ed.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
