Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11 My dad died to it, he was a great piolet
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip but he needed his parents signature
The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
How’d the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
What happens if an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
What happened to peter pan when he jumped off the twin towers. He neverland.
