Why can't a orphan hit a home run
He,s got no home to run to
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost so he calls his mum but then remembers
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
why is 6 scared of 7 cuz 789 but whys is 10 scared cuz he is in the middle of 911
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Why was 6 afraid 7 because 7 8 9 but why was 10 scared cause he is right in the middle of 9 11
Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
