Hes jokes
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Why was the elephant woozy?
Because he was trunk.
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?
He couldn't find home.
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D