He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
Hes Jokes
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
