Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because he didn’t know where home was.
Hes Jokes
My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
