Hes jokes
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.