So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
Hes Jokes
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he can't get home.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back with the milk!
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
