Herring jokes

How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!

How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?

One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

...just kidding-

- none. They can't change anything.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn't want her, why would I?

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.

Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.

Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.

If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.

Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.

How do you know a hippie is on her period?

Her socks are missing.

How do you know she's off?

Her socks are tye-dye.

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,

"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"

A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.