Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
Herring Jokes
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.
I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
There's a sexy milf that lives next door. The only thing better is her 8 Y/O.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
