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Happening

Happening jokes

A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"

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    • Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

    Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"

    There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."

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    • When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.

    My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"

    He didn't realize what was about to happen.

    "That's what she said!"

    A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.

    The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.

  • 1

    • What happened when Obama ran for president?

    The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

    What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

    He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.

    What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?

    You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!

    You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

  • 1

    • My parents told me I was born on the highway.

    Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

    I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

    Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

    'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.