Hangover jokes

Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?

A: Nothing! He was hung over.

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

What's an emo's favorite part about being dunked?

The hangover.

Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?

Must be lots of drunks there.

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.

Men wake up with a boner.

Women wake up yawning.

Coincidence?

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.