Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
Slit your wrists.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
