[god creating spiders] God: ok what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls
[god creating a jellyfish] God: how about an evil bag
[god creating the parrot] OK HOW ABOUT A TYEDYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU
[god creating alligators] God: see that log? Angel:yes...? God: now fill it with teeth. Angel: say again? God: FILL IT WITH TEETH
[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:.... god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's cuz god created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes
*You heard a conversation between sans and Papyrus
sans: "sub bro" Paps: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZELS!" sans: "easy bro, i have done a ton of work today" sans: "a skele-ton" (Drum effect) Paps: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
You're a good soldier Choosing your battles Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and back in the saddle You're on the front line Everyone's watching You know it's serious we're getting closer, this isn't over The pressure is on You feel it But you've got it all Believe it When you fall get up oh oh And if you fall get up oh oh Tsamina mina zangalewa 'Cause this is Africa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Listen to your God This is our motto Your time to shine don't wait in line y vamos por todo People are raising Their expectations Go on and feed them this is your moment no hesitations Today's your day I feel it You paved the way Believe it If you get down get up oh oh When you get down get up eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa aa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Ame la mejole biggi biggi mubbo wa A to Z Asi tsu zala makyuni biggi biggi mubbo from East to West Asi waga waga ma eh eh waga waga ma eh eh Tendency suna tsibuye 'cause this is Africa (Africa, Africa Africa) Tsamina mina, Anawa a a Tsamina mina Tsamina mina, Anawa a a Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Django eh eh Django eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a Django eh eh Django eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a This time for Africa This time for Africa We're all Africa We're all Africa
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then “WHOA-MAN!!”
GOD better hope they got a elevator to heaven
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
All these African jokes ain't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you... You know we rich with natural resources that's why y'all come to steal from us... Shame on you ALL
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,"I want to be more handsome than the first guy.", God granted his wish. "The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish
today i explain what things are fake. serial killers, clowns, billy, fairies, your life,God,Jesus,your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff, youtube,your dad,scientists,teachers,God,Jesus, and Billy.
stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake.Alot of idiots will read this.
Daughter: Dad
Dad: Yes honey
Daughter: Im Lesbian
Dad: Ok
Daughter 2: Dad
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: Im lesbian too
Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here
Son: I do...
Me: God Bryce do we really have to talk about this again? Bryce: what? Me: Your still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3! P.S. I'm a girl
Why did God make men? Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn.... =^..^=
yo mamma so ugly that even god said be gone DEMON!
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say 'Thank God' and to stop the horse, to say ' Hallelujah'. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".
God
