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God jokes

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Memes

Work

A still from a movie showing two children with their hands together in a praying position. Text overlay says: "Me and my friend at work are like... Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far, far far away from here."

Dog

God is you... If you have a dog

A golden retriever puppy is sitting and looking up at the camera. The puppy has a cute expression. The puppy's feet are not in view. Two gray slippers are visible at the bottom of the image. The text says, "I taught Luna to sit. She was SO thrilled with the praise she got, that now, every time I turn around this is what I see. My heart!!!"

Ghost

The image shows two panels. The top panel shows two penguins looking directly at the viewer with a faded overlay effect, and the text "Me zoned out staring at a fixed point:". The bottom panel shows a child holding a cross and looking startled, with the text "The ghost in my room:", "How the flip can u see mE?!", and "U need God".

Man

A man wearing glasses and a plaid shirt stands next to a red barbecue grill, holding a can. He is wearing a blue apron that says 'DON'T ASK ME FOR THE SECRET FAMILY RECIPE'. To his right, a golden retriever dog sits on the floor, also wearing a blue apron. The dog's apron says 'I SAW THE FACE OF GOD AND IT WAS WEEPING'.

Jeffrey Epstein

A four-panel image showing the faces of four men, each with a label above them. From left to right: The first panel shows Dr Disrespect with the label 'NOOB'. The second panel shows Drake with the label 'PRO'. The third panel shows Sean 'Diddy' Combs with the label 'HACKER'. The fourth panel shows Jeffrey Epstein with the label 'GOD'.

Teen

The image shows a two-panel meme. The upper panel shows a magazine cover with a headline that reads, "Paralysed teen learned to walk" and below "Hit by car...and paralysed again". The magazine also has two images, one of a woman standing smiling and another of her receiving medical attention. The text "As Jade is now" can be seen too. The bottom panel shows a close up of Iron Man with a caption that says "God" over his face and "Stay down. Final warning." at the bottom.

Shooting

The image shows a Facebook post with comments about a tragic shooting, followed by a picture of a troll-face character smirking next to a computer that is on fire. The Facebook post has various comments with Todd responding to the initial tragedy with "Probably coffin brochures" and "Bullets?".

Religion

The image shows a split-screen. On top, a man with no arms is saying, "Through God, all things are possible." Below him, a woman is yelling, "DO 10 PUSH UPS RIGHT NOW!"

Memes

The CONSTITUTION is not optional.

PICTOPHILE APP
Czech government tells its citizens how
to fight terrorists: Shoot them
yourselves
0024K
we can't
expect God
to do all
the work.

Religion

God’s buzz cut

A cartoon of a muscular, bald man with a purple toga and a gold medallion on it. The man has a slight smile.

Feet

Real

Sonic the Hedgehog is kneeling in a field with his hands together in prayer. Above him, the text reads, "Thank you God," and below him, the text reads, "for not making me attracted to feet."

Child

The image shows a wallet full of money lying on the ground, surrounded by wood chips. The text above the wallet asks, "As a child of god, what's your next move?" The text below the wallet says "To thank him".

Quagmire

oh my god guys

A cartoon image of the character Quagmire with a large face. The text above the character says "NO GIGGITIES?"

Pet

so true

The image shows two panels. The top panel is a dog looking up with the text "They feed me and take care of me. They must be gods.". The bottom panel shows a cat laying down with the text "They feed me and take care of me. I must be a god."

Hotel

When your in a hotel and hear muffled moaning from another room

A screenshot from a YouTube video of Eminem with a shocked facial expression. The subtitle reads, "Something's wrong, I can feel it."

Ohio

Ohio smh

A news graphic shows the United States map completely filled in by the state of Ohio. The headline reads "Ohio took over America". There is a small text at the bottom that reads "Oh god oh f**k they're getting stronger says Canada."

Name

The image shows a split panel, with the top half depicting a person pointing his finger forward with the text "What if you". The top right panel shows an image of heaven with the text "Wanted to go to Heaven". The bottom left panel shows the same person, but this time with his mouth open and finger pointing up with the text "But god said". The bottom right has a longer text asking "is your name amy and are you the smelly Indian who everyone hates because she was so fucking jealous of a guy who literally said he wouldn't online date anymore as soon as he saw your face? is that you?"

Search result

I FAMOUS NOW GUYS

A screenshot of a Google search result for the term "TheUsedFleshlightConnoisseur." The search results include links to worstjokesever.com and an Instagram post by rufuswainwright.

Memes

Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1

Hand sanitizer

Every god damn day

The image shows the text "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* A cut I never knew existed:" above a picture of Elmo engulfed in flames.

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