Gaming jokes

Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.

Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!

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  • Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!

    On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

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  • Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.

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  • Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

    Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

    Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

    Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

    After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

    They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

    Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

    Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

    An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.

    The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.

    The man asks, "Is it your first time?"

    The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

    My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

    I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

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  • My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

    I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”