Gallows jokes
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?
Happy for the first time.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times? He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.