Frugality jokes

His neighbor asked Hodja,

"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"

"I have," answered Hodja.

"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.

"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"

Yo mama is so Jewish that pennies run away from getting pinched by her.

Your family is so cheap that they won't even pay for the child support to keep you.