What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
