What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
What do you call fallen water? A waterfall.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
Question: What do you call 8 apples?
Answer: The iPhone 8.
