DoS jokes
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
How do you poop?
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
How do you know that the U.S. sucks at chess?
They lost two towers.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.