DoS jokes
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a PEIS?
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet! 🤣🤣🤣
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."